Many thanks to the various lovely people online who answered my nosy questions for this one!
This is all because way back in the day (a few months ago) I saw this discussion on Reddit. “Yeah, real poly [sic] are happy about [their partners being with someone else]” – except, some poly folks are not bothered either way, and some haven’t felt compersion yet but they’re working on it, and some people feel jealous every once in a while, but they’re still really polyamorous. You don’t get to define polyamory for other people.
Talk about delay. This comic took ages, but in my defence, my uterus has now been incinerated. It 100% deserves it – turns out I had killer endometriosis, and my dysphoria is so much better now, you would not believe.
Editing to add a few tweets I posted after sharing the comic, because as usual I am more informative on social media than on the comic itself…
- This new comic is all because I think the idea that poly people should aspire to feel compersion is really harmful sometimes.
- People end up feeling crap when their partner finds a new lovely, not because they’re jealous but because they’re not “happy enough”.
- So many non-monogamous people are just comfortable with it all, and even when they’re not, that doesn’t make them monogamous!
- Polyamory –> compersion? It’s just not that simple.
- This has been a rambly rant. Thank you for listening.
Editing again to add that the knitting project they’re all lounging on is my double-knit dragon scarf. It’s my go to project for self-care knitting, because it’s really satisfying and indulgent and the yarn is so soft that it pleases all of my sensory processors.