I am so tired and ill, and I have to travel tomorrow morning and I haven’t packed and it’s past midnight, so forgive me if this seems a little rushed. This is what the amazing Mattie made me on the back of an envelope to help me work out my sexuality this week, and I thought that since it helped me so much it could do you some good, too.

ETA: Oh, holy mother of Lady Gaga, I am reading this stuff through and it’s all so confusing. When I am home and ill, I am going to vastly improve this, okay?

Download from Scribd.com and print scaled to an A4 page:

0070 Fortune

Fr srs. Any confusion over sexual identity, this magical device will clear it all up.

I can’t think how to describe how to use it! You do it in pairs. (Hurrrr.) One person holds it on their thumbs and index fingers, and asks the confused individual to pick a number. The “fortune teller” moves the device in a chompy sort of way, or a bit like itsy-bitsy spider, for that many numbers. The confused individual then picks a shape, and the fortune teller does more of the chomping for spelling the shape. Then the confused individual picks a different shape, and whatever is under that shape is the Answer.

I am reading this through and being thoroughly confused. I am going to make a YouTube video when I get home, because what the actual.