First of all, thank you to Martin, who’s only gone and bought those purple handwarmers, what a legend.

Secondly, I’m sure you all know the woe of too much hair.

Thirdly, these boots. They’re beautiful. But. The laces are ribbons, and they’re annoying to tighten and they’re not even long enough to lace the boots all the way to the top. Seriously, these boots look and feel like you could kick the crap out of a mountain. Why ribbons? Why?

So I’m going to shun the ribbons. I’m going to buy some proper laces. They will be long enough, and they will be rainbow-coloured. And then, because the bit around the arch is the bit that needs loosening the most, I am going to lace these boots as if they are a corset. The laces will run from top to bottom, but the knot will tie in the arch. It will look awesome, and people will walk into lamp posts as they gaze at my rainbow-corset-laced boots. (Edit: got the laces!)

Take that, sense of style. I don’t need you.