After wurbling at you guys about being very out of sorts, it seems only fair to update you all on what’s going on, no?
How I am
- Constant nausea, and only being able to eat very small amounts of apparently random food. I’m not eating anywhere near enough. Looking at food makes me feel pukey, especially if it has a strong smell.
- My hands feel numb.
- I can’t walk up hills. Well, I can’t really walk anywhere useful at all most of the time, but especially not up hills.
- I can’t think about anything that’s not immediately in front of me, both in time and space.
- Bad judgement. What’s that, going far away on the bus might be a challenge when I’ve had half a meal a day for the past ten days and I have anxiety issues and hate buses? Let’s go to ABERYSTWYTH in the DEPTHS OF WALES with NO EASY WAY OF GETTING HOME!!! (To be fair, it was good when I was there.)
On the bright side
I have the most amazing family, both chosen and blood, oh my gravy. My mum asked if she should come and stay with me for a few days, and I wish she could but guests will freak me out. Hannah has brought me anti-allergy meds and promised that she (or someone else) will come over when I get scared. Joe has come and made my kitchen less disgusting, since I couldn’t bear to look at this pan of gravy. (Click here to see a YouTube video we made a while ago of him also being a legend, helping my GISHWHES team to get 79 points. YOU WILL LOVE IT AND LAUGH.) Sven, of course, has helped me to stay in touch with you all through his dark and hilarious guest comic. I honestly don’t know how people without housing co-ops manage to function.
You are all made of amazing
Moving into the online realm: So many kind comments. So many. People who’ve been there, people who want to help, people who’ve made donations to keep me going, people who can recommend books and other resources. I just do not think there is a font big enough to express my gratitude and how asdfghjkl I am. I can’t work out how someone like me has gathered so many people who want to support me. You are all amazing.
Things I’ve done
Inspired by Sammy, I have made a wishlist on Amazon.co.uk called “Lotte can’t feel their hands“, with a couple of the books that were recommended in comments. I’m also going to try adding things that have been helping me foodwise; I’ve restarted my Graze.com deliveries, because having tasty healthy things to snack on when the nausea subsides a little is pretty much the only thing I can do without feeling mank.
There are a couple of potential guest-comickers floating about. I do very much like their ideas, but they’re busy people and I don’t like to add pressure. I will be vague and say that this comic might not be totally dead until I come back. In the mean time, I’d love to hear from anyone who fancies doing a guest comic. Both guest comics so far were made by people who don’t actually do their own comic elsewhere, so that is by no means a requirement. The thought of my comic becoming a temporary mini art gallery for anyone who wants to make people smile is a wonderful one to me. And you would, of course, get a link back to your website.
Someone’s bought some handwarmers, so I will do a mini-comic about what I spent it on, as promised. I will try to get that done by the end of the day.
I think that’s everything, really. I want to tell you that I’ll be back soon, or I’m feeling better already, or other things of that ilk. I don’t know what is going to happen, but people get better. I am assuming that I will too, even if it feels otherwise to me right now. I am mostly reeling in shock at the epic support network that has assembled itself around me and is keeping me going. Oh my gravy.
I guess we should sit here and await my superpower.